Feeling Good all the time

Ain't it great... Just to be feeling?

Well, As you can see, I'm in my happy place right now. Haven't really posted something in my happy mood. Well, saying that this is the last of 2008, I might as well just post something, no matter the mood.

I feel so great lately, It's like a new me has popped up. I'm feeling better, I'm looking better, I'm with better people, I'm building stronger relationships with my friends, I'm being built stronger by my friends, I'm living a better life, and I feel great! Being with mature people is good for me. It's better than at Anthony at least.

I remember, about 2 months ago, Bucklin Cat and I went to Anthony to say hi to our favorite teacher, Mr. Haugen. He was there when we had bad days, he gave us time when we were late on a project, he helped us through a lot (and me with the shit that life presented me). So, when we get there, we start talking about our teachers at our school now. He talks about Bucklin's 2 younger brothers that are now in his class (they're twins). And, right when we're talking about this, Mrs. Hanson (principle) comes in the room. She chats for a minute or so, then gives us post it notes to write something good about this school and then give it to her. Well, we were instructed to post it on her door...

So, I'm thinking of what to say, I'm thinking something good like, "The bathrooms are clean, so I had a great year...", maybe "The students here are so inviting and accepting. I had a great year and made many friends." or maybe, "All the teachers were very open and helpful, so I had a good year..."

But, I decided to with something true, but I decided to twist the words so that they wouldn't throw this post it note into the bill shredder (yes, this school has one of those, I've seen it) so I write down, with a smirk, "This school has prepared me for the real world in not just an acedemic sense, but socially, too."
(I could've worded that better, but, hey! like it cares.) So, I'm waiting for Sami to finish hers, and we continue to talk to Mr. Haugen for a while. I tell them about my latest news, Sami tells him about her poems, And we all have a good time.
Then, we leave and I have dinner with dad at Champp's Restaurant by Petco.

This Monday, Me, Savi, Fangs, and Bucklin all hung out at Fang's basement. We all did recordings. And, once we get some video equipment, we're going to put it on youtube. So, get ready for some awesomeness when you see the
"SexyCrackHeads"!
And, no, this isn't some dud Idea. It's well planned, organized, and thought up and on the drawing board. It's a for sure thing, just not into specifics yet. Give us time.

You'll see favorites of ours like, "Break", an RJK production, "News", a JSK production, And "Isaac B-day" an SK production. So, get ready for some mind blowing randomness!

... uh, yeah. I think that's it. Well, happy new year.
And, since I didn't do a Holidays Special, Merry Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, and many more!!!! ... *jazz hands* ... Cricket?
Oh, come on! One Comment? pwease... ?

Hollidazzle Blues

Friday, the Marching Band people were performing in Hollidazzle. we were supposed to be marching yesterday and Today, too. But, Liuzzi cancelled, so, instead, when I get there with Clarinetist Nate, and Trumpeters Maya and Ian, there was no one really there but YellowCoat. So, What I did that night was I hung out with YellowCoat at the Brit's Pub (right outside is the hollidazzle), had dinner, and watched the hollidazzle for the first time. It's pretty cute. There were so many people watching. whenever something passed, we all yelled, "Spin!" and whenever it did, we all cheered. I heard behind me, "We're so easily amused."

Last night I had the coolest dream... It's complicated to explain, though. oh well. I woke up and it was just a huge coinkadink! lol!
Also, I'm over my sudden depression! It's been hard for me. I understand that some people got a little annoyed by me being so down. I thank you for being there, everyone! I guess I was just in denial that it wasn't my fault. I thought this whole thing was my fault, and it wasnt. I was just confused. I thank you all, again, for being there with comforting words, Hugs, and friendships. :*) It makes me feel great to know I have such good friends.
Anyway, still full from the salad last night. X^P somene give me some tums or something.

Depression

dudes, it's evident now, I'm in depression. It's scaring me. and it's all because of school and school related things.

Like, first off, my Best friend's not hanging out at lunch anymore... :*(
Then, second, my ex isn't talking to me anymore. I need to talk to him... It's important as hell, but, he's not talking to me... and I feel it's all my fault. I shouldn't but I do.
Third, I was pulled out of science class to be told to "let out my emotions" in the councelor's office. she was all "you know whatI hate about americans? They have to hold every emotion in, like they can't cry. You can cry, jackie. you can cry if you waant to. Don't hold it in."

creepy.
Fourth, Nick isn't talking to me at ALL! he wasn't there for me, never will, and god just wants me to feel horrible right now and it feels like no one's on my side. Even when someone SHOULD, god damn him, he's not. ... :(

If only he knew. I told him to talk to me... why won't he listen... he doesn't care. ... help. :*(

MY 100TH POST!!!

OMG! it's been such a long time! I can't believe it!
It's been not even a year... but, close, nonetheless, and it's so amazing!
This is actually my 100th post! If you look at my old posts, you'll see a tourmented little 8th grader, who didn;t know where her life started or where the torture ended. Now, I can focus on differnt things... even if it hurts worse than what I would have been going through...
I've been through so much! I can honestly say that. ...
I don't know... I'll think about this.

... The best part of this whole blog would have to be When I went to Louisianna and Highschool. That's what I'm most excited about in my life! That and the fact that Alex and I today afterschool by my house nearly ambushed Ben with snowballs... even when I told alex to stop, he kept going... heheh... lol!
I dunno. I haven't seen Ben T. in a while. like, 7 months or something. all I know is that it's been a long time since I've really hung out with the old people I used to know... like him and Katie and Doylie and everyone!
Then again, it's also been a long time since I've talked to Neeko... he's avoiding me, I SWEAR!
... God, what did I do to make him want to avoid me? It's got to be my fault somehow... I've accepted that as fact. It's the fact that he won;t tell me what it is that bugs me. Maybe he just grew tired of me that's all. I don't know... AND THAT'S WHAT HURTS!
god damnet!
whatever... but, I dunno. :(

anyway, this is an awesome post!
I'm excited. I'm going to be eating now, so, bye!

Reading a book for enjoyment... ??

yeah, some people don't read books for enjoyment... I know, it's kinda wierd...

Oh well, It's not my business. I'm rading a book for enjoyment and fr school, it's called, "Things Fall Apart". It's a goood book, but I can't read it anymore. It somehow reminds me f what I'm going through right now. A good friend of mine isn't talking to me anymore. And Neek is being a Deek right now...

And my friends are going through some hell... rbrb

If I only had brain... what? I went to public school!

God, this room is ... different. It's soundproof, it's full of Macs, and itt's full of highschoolers... it's so cool!!!!

Anyway, comment about the new poem... please!!!!!


It's a good poem... well, I think it is... then again, that's ME...
lol!

Christmas season is harsh...

yep, this year is hard!

First off, This weekend, I had a party to go to. yes, I WENT to a party... is that so shocking?

Then, this week, I'm having another movie night (weekly now). THen, the coming weekend, I'm going up north with Bucklin Cat for her birthday. Then, next week, is MY party... and it's going to be hectic! no one has really RSVPed yet and I don't know what everyone is bringing! Then, I have to buy some food... or make it. AND, that same week, Im hoping a few friends can get together on Friday night to make some cookies, baked goods, etc. then, the next weekend, I have some Hollidazzle thing to go to the whole weekend, AND I hve to leave that week for Christmas. HECTIC? BUSY! and I have to fit in christmas shopping and homework and friends...

AGH!!! And what about my job? This is hell... this is life! ... can someone drop a life preserver or something?? I'm dying here.. I'll wait.

after thanksgining, will the holidays end?

This kitchen is hell!!!

yeah, remember that show on TV, "Hell's Kitchen"?

Yeah, guess where I am right now?
I'm peeling potatoes and Cutting Veggies and mashing cranberries... (well, not the cranberries, I'm buying some canned stuff for that.)
I'm taking a lunch break. And I feel like if I ever hear of the potato famine in Ireland one more time by my mother's, "Well, consider yourself lucky! In the potato famine..." I was about to throw the potato peeler out the window (yes, the window's open. it's too hot inside)! So, on Monday, ask me about the potato famine... I dare you! LOSE AN EYE!

lol! lol... heheh... waaahhhhh!!!

I'm going to my room. Depression's sinking in...
so, see you later...
(i'm so tired right now... I can't sleep, I can't speak, I can't laugh, I can't cry, I can't blink, I can't open my eyes, I can't even begin to explain where this is all coming from, I can't sing, I can't shout, I can't hate, I can't love... I can't live, I can't die... I can't force myself to live... I just do. For one thing I can't do, and that is give up.)

hahaha... sob! waaahhh!!!

Lately, I've been depressed. I'm sorry for not going on here sooner...

Yesterday, I was sitting in the sunroom w/ my dad watching TV. He made some joke (i forgot what it was) and we started laughing. I felt this lump in my throat, I started hyperventilating, and before I realised it, dad was staring at me, "Are you ok?"

Honestly, I went upstairs and started crying... for no reason that I can think of, I just started crying and ran up to my room...

It's actually kind of funny if you think about it. hahaha.... waahhh!!! lol

... I don't know. It's happened a few times lately that I could just think of something and I would start bawling... It's actually kind of scary. If I can make myself cry with just a sad memory, then what would happen if something bad happened... :( I'm worried about myself... again.

Oh well, don't worry about me. here, listen to this band. I was introduced to them over the week, so, listen!

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Clothes

This party I'm throwing isn't going to be as easy as I thought... I can only invite 12 friends, and I'm trying to make newfriends into the group by thowing this party...
And, then, my friends are all acting wierd... and Tia and Tina are acting very suspicious... like they''re avoiding me or something...
And since Neeko isn't talking to me anymore, I don't know what I did... God, why do you make this so hard for me to feel good about myself when the whole world's against me, especially Neeko!?? (since no one reads this, I guess it doesn't really matter what I do with this...)
This is madness!!!!! ... this is Highschool... god damnet! I hate my life! Just someone help me... :(
yes, you can call this a desperate cry for help. Show whoever you please this blog post. As long as it's going to "help me", I'd love it if someone read this and said, "Hey, maybe I should be easier on her right now."
"Oh, maybe it ripped in the dryer."
"Maybe I should try talking to her more."
"Hey, maybe I should pull her over sometime to let her know I'm still here for her, to show her that I still care..." (yes, that one was specific)

... *sob* :*(

god danget...

why does everyone hate me?

now he hates me because he just called me (when his cell phone was taken away) and asked what was wrong from yesterday. (here's the story, I had thought that someone was mad at me, and so I thought that person was avoiding me. well, I later talked with that person so it''s all sorted out) he didn't know that!

so, when he finally gets his phone back, he's mad at me because it's already sortd out! damnet!

I hate this. Whe does everyone hate me? It's all because of these "cracks" in the system of "stuff that never happens". You hear about it all the time on TV and shit, and when it happens to someone it's just "not common". Why is it that i'm always that person!?

god, why do you hate me so right now?

hehehe... this will surely piss SOMEONE off...

One Monday morning, I'm in my room...

"funny story" the lights were dim, so all I saw was this long snakelike thing in my room... and it starts getting squirmish as it gets caught in some net... Something else comes out and bites it! "oh dear god," I say, "What has happened?"

I turn on the lights and see that a centipede on the wall got caught in a spider's web and was being attacked by the spider... who had recently made an egg sac.

EWWW!!! ... in more than one way. LOL!

I bet I'm going to be getting a call tonight by someone grossed out at it... and I know who, too. LOL!

so, yeah. I made crepes this morning. This is what you do...



Mix 1/2 cup water, 1/2 cup milk, 2 eggs, 1 cup flour, 1/4 tsp salt, 6 tbsp melted butter in a bowl.

fry on lightly oiled pan (flipping once). (should make 4)



Mix in a small frying pan 1 apple (finely chopped), 2 tbsp butter, 1/2 tbsp cinnamon, 1/3 (or 1/2) tsp nutmeg, and 1tbsp powdered sugar and fry til Carmalized.

Place desired amount on one crepe, rolling it into a burrito form. add whip cream, and top with sprinkles of powdered sugar and cinnamon. Enjoy!



what do you think of the recipe? I found it on Recipes.com. Go there now!

another funny bit in my own KITCHEN...

We have these new doritos bags... it's like this big bag with littler bags of chips... (don't even think it. lol) And the little quote on it is "Go sack! just grab em' and GO!"
... again, don't even think it. lol!

So, yeah. i get this kind of stuff stuck in my head every single day... don't think it's just a saturday funk... It's the real deal. lol

OBAMA

yep. wer're all so happy now...

Funny story. In 1st hour today, I get the Newspaper and put it on the teacher's desk (which I do every morning anyway). Someone reads the title, "OBAMA"... yep, that's it. just one word... OBAMA. as if they had no more black ink for the rest of the Newspaper.

Anyways, someone picks up the front page, and yesss, "OBAMA!" everyne cheers and whoops and hollers in approval! It was truly a sight to see. *tear*

well, I'll be giving many more tears tonight for a different reason... Let's just say, When something happens and you're the first one over it, things get a little separated. I hope everything can come back together after this is all done... all I said was to give it time... I hope Neeko understands...

god, save me

crap... I can't believe it!
shit...

anyways... LOL!

Yesterday was fun! I wished more people could hang out.
Oh well. I just have to say what's on my mind to someone (I know where you eat lunch...) and I'll be ok in a few months... I hope...

Love Hurts

literally. I went on the Scrambler at Valleyscare, and I was forced to sit on the outside. He ran into me so many times, now it hurts to walk. I'm talking to him about this.

Except for that, my whole body aches from Friday. Someone SAVE ME!


lol!

First Snow of the year

yep! today was the first snow of the winter year... well, of Winter on to Next year. lol.

My party went well!

Today's the first day we made a fire in the fireplace.
Also, a miraculous story...
An Apartment fire spurged in the Metro today. A fire Dog stayed in the building as it guarded 4 small kittens. When the fire fighters found the dog and the kittens, they rescued them and sent them to the Vets.
They're all still alive tonight. Isn't that wonderful? Count your blessings.

Missing the bus sucks!

This isn't like Middle school where you just get the stuff the next day, this is highschool! you have responsibility!

MY mother dropped me off in the nick of time, thou. so, YAY!

Another thing, someone saveme! I'm stuck in the computer lab, forced to go on the computer with nothing to do...

the Irony of Boredome...

I came here to escape it, but it followed me here...
sadly, my sanity didn't. it stayed right at the house, probably by the COMPUTER!
I just don;t lke this little "afterschool" thing. there's too many people here to fit in the school! I'm, again, stuck in this media lab, the only place that I can have a bit of aloneness, and my buddy is on the computer looking up applications for their Dashboard... fun. tthis is a real blast...

SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!
if not, I'll be having my party this friday for the halloween bash (i'm not having it on the actual Halloween Night due to prior engagements... but, it'll still be spooky. boys... whoooo!!)

So, yeah, come!!!!!!

House (a really good show)

I'm watching it right now, and it's amazing.

I'm not grounded today, so, I can write more today.

Well, it's freezing in my house today... at least it was. It was 40F inside my house... the fireplace didn't really help. So, I carried a blanket around with me today. You know those kids that carried the blankets wrapping themselves like Native Americans and bobbing up and down as they walk? Guess what my sister was doing today whenever she passed by me?


Well, I'm gonna go into my room, burn a few incense, and think...

Well, then again, maybe I shouldn't. I mean, if I think to myself, It makes me think of something else, which makes me think of something else, then I think of something that I think's really funny. Then I think of something not even remotely thoughtful to someone else, causing me to think of thoughts last TUesday... don't make me think of it. lol! I mean, think about it! ugh, Just the thought of it!

lol. So, if you want to call me or something, I can recieve calls now... God, I'm Envious of Neeko. He's in Florida for a week! lucky...

Well, I'm going to go to my room now. Bye! bye. bye...

bored in the Media Center

lol. I guess you get this website here... Well, Radio club is fun. At least we get to go on the computers and "study".

Were just playing with the tunes right now... not much work done...
What's with the Freshman homework lately? Its been piling up all around me like the Fucking Grand Canyon!

Exept for that, I'm pretty much stuck here in the school... someone help me! Neeko has taken over my compter!

Grounded

it's been, what, a year since I've been grounded... I think.

All I can remember is that it was before 7th grade that I got Grounded last... dang, that's, what, 3 years!

ha! I have to sneak to get on this computer... Well, let's hope there's something to do at Mom's. She won't let me on the TV or Computer... let alone hang out with friends after school. she won't even let me go on the phone!

So, here's a poem to my increasingly slim sanity...

Roses are Red, violets are Blue,
I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

So, I will try at school to sneak a blog spot in... well, it'll sure be hard... this ain't Middle school anymore. ha!

My First Sweet 16

my sister's. Yep...

It just got interesting... This girl punched my sister's friend... and the Friend's flipping out. She's making death threats. It;s horrible.

And to think I was in my room this whole time thinking this would be boring.

MY 80th post

Congrats!

Well, the new movie coming up, "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" Comes out tomorrow!
Guess who's going to see it?
Neeko and I are going to see this wonderful Movie starring Michael Cera, the bad boy from Juno... hehehe...
So, anyway, I'll post a review on here.

"This is hell," "This is highschool."

Yep. I'm bored. This school called Southwest... It's pretty different.

There are those days where you just want life to stop!!!! It's either too hectic, too much drama, or just too cramped inside these small halls!

Then, there are those days where you're just sitting on the computer... Nothing Good is on Tv yet, too cold to go outside, friends are too far away to hang out, no good movies are playing at 4PM, and There's no one to talk to...

God, I hate Wednesdays... LOL!
someone call me!

Band Camp

Oh my god was the band campout fun!!

A few hikes, hangouts with friends at the barn, and a lot of Hot choco and Marshmallows really make a nigh fun... and 4PM of the next day tiring. I fell asleep on a Picnic bench I was so tired. LOL!

The funny thing was, my sleeping bag was ON a picnic bench! lol.

After a lake trip, a ride home, and 18 hours of sleep, I woke up with a craving of crepes. So, for the first time, I went on the internet and found a recipe, went splurge shopping for the ingredients, and made it. Amazing!

Well, I'm going to call Bucklin Cat (I need to talk to her so badly... call me!)

it's been 3 years since I've been in a library...

Yep, it's me again.

I've been studying this Leonardo Galves...
I don't like him. His writing, his attitude, his rape jokes... not too amusing... heheh :S

So, yeah. I just wanted to make that point out... if anyone didn't know.

I don;t know how I feel today. It's really different... lately, i've been feeling really great about school, about my family, about my friends... but, now, I feel a bit reluctant to the highschool...
I'm being pressured by teachers to do many things I wish I could go without... like signing up for plays, going to the Biology afterschool study team, being told that I want to join the Pit Orchestra... (thank YOU, Mr. ?Leuzzi?), etc. It's just not me, and, yet, they pressure you to do this stuff with your time that you would rather "waste", as they call it, on homework and friends and an OUTSIDE LIFE! I've been trying to find spare times for this blog (I guessthis is one of them, lol) and my other obligations...

It't wierd... I'll figure this out. LOL...

Homework, call me!

yep. We all hate this part of school... Homework...

ugh. I hate being in honors classes (one of which I was not even informed of... IB level theater... >:P)
So, anyway, if you would like to study together, here's my cell... yes, I know, I'm using my cell phone. I remember about a month ago I wouldn't even care if it was lost! now, i'm giving it away more than my REAL home phone number...

god, save me... well, lol, anyway, here it is.
612-242-6810
Call me anytime!

Today!!

yes, today is in fact Homecoming day!

We start out with a parade at 2 pm, heading down to the game, which is at 3 pm, and then, the dance is at 7-11 ... hehe, that's still funny to say... pm.

So, get ready. I am!

THis week!

this week has been really fun, guys. I've been watching some of these people with their outfits that they've planned. It's actually quite amusing.

But, let's not forget the homecoming. I've seen some pretty "out there" askers.

Like, for example, Theater Class. Two people came in with a sign saying "homecoming?"
Then, another boy came in with a backpack (playing music through some radio in there) holding a sigh saying, "Emily?"
It was so cute! She, evidently, said yes!

If you've read my blog before, i'm a sucker when it comes to cute things, and this week, there's been a lot of it... hehe =D

THis week has been fabulous. I can just say that! I've been hanging with my friends; Carie, Neeko, Uno, Mary, the whole gang... just wished they could get some of the drama over with... this week is about spirit... not hate... <3
I still wuv u all!

Giddy week

yep. This week will be fun!

For starters, This week is spirit week, where you dress up and act goofy... not that I will be taking any part in this... I'll just laugh at all of the other people as they dress up wierd.

Then, on Saturday, the Homecomming game! that'll be fun.
Then, later that night, THE DANCE!
then, sunday, is school hangover day. lol

I can't wait! I hope all of you can make it to the dance. I know i'm going.

New Poem!!

that's right. It's newly inspired (actually by my own embarrassment) <:P.

Well, last night was 9/11. If you watched the 9/11 memorial on TV where it was live from New york, you probably had a big thrill watching it, while I, being more "local" about these things, went to the Bandshell at Lake Harriet and watched the 9/11 Memorial. I am writting a bit for the Anchor, the school Newspaper, so, Neeko, the official camera man, tagged along.
It was spectacular! The orchestra was great, the Speeches and momentos were powerful, and at the end, as we sang to God Bless America, Fireworks lit up the sky over the band shell! It was spectacular. I believe that you will see the photos on the School Newspaper (if you care to read my article).

And, again, new poem, so, check it out (remember that poems are like a public diary, it will be influenced on major mood swings/events/ etc.)

SCHOOL!

god, my first day in highschool! This is so fun!

I'm just pitying my friends... they already have a crush dilema. I've sworn to secrecy what it exactly is, but, let's just say, it's something i'm glad not to be in anymore.

And, well, the worst thing about this "New school"... New schedules. Did anyone ELSE get their schedule changed seconds before homeroom... or am I the only one? UGH, i can't wait for this all to be settled out. I have to get BACK into wind ensemble, get OUT of Piano, get my Geometry back to 4th period, and convince some teachers to let me switch from some classes to the next. ... I LOVE HIGHSCHOOL XP

Well, except for that, Southwest is AWESOME! Again, i met new friends, and i'm keeping the ones I have already. so, yeah, just don't dump me in any dumpsters and i'm fine. lol!

Bratz Slutwear for 8 year olds

this is so stupid.
Who here plays with bratz dolls? Or, better question has anyone seen a Bratz doll (not the movie)?
If you did, you will see little dolls, with poofy lips, boobs, butts, and "slutty clothing". Personally, i used to have a bratz doll, until i saw the other kinds of dolls. I swear, its like slut wear for infants!

And, since little girls always want to be like the picture perfect little dolls in the windows at the store, they ask their parents for that kind of clothing, for that kind of makeup, and act like bratz. THAT'S RIGHT! Brats (with an S, for all of you kids who use the terrible slang of nowaday civilization) are the kids that are in 6th grade or lower, who have myspaces, look like sluts themselves, and get the whole Myspace group in trouble.

Then, the parents blame the myspace for "turning their kids into sluts!" and nagging at the online predator's attention. MYSPACE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! It was your daughter/son, who's friend's got them into that stuff, let peer pressure get at them, and wanted to look hot and sexy so that school kids will envy them. I say, pressure on women's beauty is at its limit as it is. I hate it! I've been to my cousin's house (he's 23, so, he has LOADS of posters on his walls... shudder). ANHOREXIC women, their ribs poking out, their skin pale... THAT'S NOT BEAUTY. it's HORRIBLE! Some women are calling it the holocaust... I find that too dramatic. But, seriously, they looked like SKIN and BONES...
I say, if you are in the 6th grade, WAIT!!!!! Think about what you are doing. remember that what goes on myspace... STAYS on myspace. it can't get reversed. People will copy pictures, post comments, REPLY to messages. It's happened before... it WILL happen again.

But, the question is, will you let it happen to YOU?
... THAT'S MY 5 CENTS INTO THIS WORLD. like anyone will care, their finger halfway down their throat. XP

Rap all you want, i'm not having sex

ok, everyone should know about my perspective on rap. It was good in the days where it was decent and respectful. no one took other people's stuff and made it into their own version worse than the original, no remix's and no disgrace.

If you like rap, hip hop, or RnB, I suggest you do not read further. Do not complain to me if you do read it and feel offended. I am telling you now! this IS a warning!!

But, now, it's perverted, and well, just plain dumb. I COULD WRITE A RAP SONG! all I need is to go to jail for 7 years for peeing on and raping a little girl, get addicted to meth, have hoes around my house, and say the N word every 2 words. Then, i need to get a gun, get a sleezy criminal for a manager, and sell a song... and hopefully shoot someone. then, i'd get a reward for "best rap song ever".

That's what the people want, right? ... well, at least with the men.

Ugh. I just don't like their music videos either. It's sex and drugs. SEX AND DRUGS!!!!! cmon everyone! come to my house for some "cheese".
And whats worse than the rap iself? Thos show sthat make fun of the rap industry! Take for example, Family Guy. Now, don't be confused, I personally enjoy Family Guy. I find it mildly amusing. But, their jokes on the racial impact of the rap industry is just not funny to me. But, of course, someone likes those jokes, (we all know who they are) for they keep putting them in their skits.

well, what can you do about the industry and the economy anyways?

God has no debt!!

*Sigh* *smile* *giggle* *laugh* *dance around the room* *shush the laugh* *sit down* *giggle again* *tear*

God is great. I can say that with "tear in my eye" meaning. Already highschool is support. I have no more refuge. I have no need for it! I can finally smile. I think of myself as more than some shadow, more than some kid no one likes, no longer a worthless, pitiful, disgusting creep. I feel like I'm in 6th grade again. Before all of the 7th grade stuff, I was completly happy with my life. I was immortally happy. I felt completly refined. Even if it only lasts for a while, it's still home. I'm back...

I'm back, world. earth, Sun, Moon, I'm back. I miss this world. I'll need help, god. I'll need help. But, I won't let you down. Not this time...

I will NEVER let that happen, god. I hope you can hear me. can you hear me, god? I'm not that again. not that thing I called myself. I'm Jackie. I'm me...
I'm me...
*sigh* *Tear* *chuckle* ... *sob* It feels so good to be ME again. I can't even say how it feels... how good this is... how I want to jump to the heavens, shout past the constellations, to sing my heart out! How I can't numb the lump in my throat when I think of all that has happened. I feel so great. So cleansed. So renewed. So new! So old. so different. Sighs couldn't describe this enough. I don't know what to say. I dont know how to describe this. I can't describe this. It's a miracle I'm still here. I can say that full well. I would've gone a long time ago if it weren't for god's blessings. Oh, I couldn't feel any better than this. I know that this will never go. It shocks me that I'm saying this finally with a positive attitude. Oh...
God has no debt.

"leave the past in the past and find our future. For Misery loves company. Well so long, you'll miss me when I'm gone. You're gonna miss me when i'm gone."
Simple Plan (When I'm gone)

"You never really understand how good home is unless you've been somewhere else for a long time."
Juno

"Where can I go from your spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I make my bed in the depts, you are there."
Matthew 1: 8-12

Sigh.

I'm sorry. I'll do a better post next time.
*tear*

GO PHELPS

amazing!

Just wonderful! And to think the guy who had the old record was watching this when Phelps beat his "7 Golds in one Olimpics" record. !!!8!!!

And to think, right after he won, there was a commercial about the 8th gold. how did they make it that fast? I guess they just make it ahead of time, and decide if when he won to put it on. if he didn't win, they wouldn't put on the commercial.

No doubt

that's right. a new poem. in fact, it's probably going into the novel. So, check it out.

ugh, more olympics

did anyone NOT hear about the lip syncing?

It turns out that The girl in the opening ceremony that sang that adorable song... wasn't really singing, but was lip syncing. Yang Leiyi was singing instead. She wasn't allowed to sing because she wasn't (get this) CUTE enough. The whole government got involved with it.

Like that couldn't hurt her self esteem. The whole government agreeing that you're not cute at all. "Oh my god, she's HIDEOUS!!! get her OFF the stage."
that's communists for you. They have to have everything perfect.

She's not even that ugly. She's still cute! UGH. some people...

PIE!

I made my first homeade pie.

you know, real homeade crust, real apples, real filling... and it's awesome! It's actually good. I put ice cream and whip cream on it.

But, who really cares?
... I DO!!! hehe.

woohoo!!!... boohoo.

has anyone seen the Olympic's Opening Ceremony for 08/08/08 in Beijing??

did you know that Beijing is Chinese for Anesthesia? ... either that or some other disease. lol!

They said that the Olympic Ceremony was the single best in history... over 2000 cast members, over 30,000 fireworks, and their displays... AH, it was amazing!!! And the events... I miss the summer Olympics. I just miss it.

The one thing I won't miss? China. period. just the whole thing going on with China... all of the homicides, all of the killings, how the government doesn't help with the earthquake, Tibet, or any of the things... and the Communism. I'm sorry, but, I could not stand how over 3/4 of the children, OUR AGE, don't even know what human rights even means, and 1/2 of the population never even heard it before.

Then again, there are those in China who don't even understand why we're ok in this Democracy. They don't understand how we can deal with this free power we have, how we choose what we do everyday... and so on and so on. It's sorta sad if you think of it.

well... I'm done. I've been watching all of this stuff on TV. I just got to say Rest in Peace to the man who got killed by the Chinese man... who later killed himself. he also seriously injured the victim's wife who is still in the hospital. the two were sightseeing with their guide.

Rant #????? ; Pills in yo MIND!!!

Well, I think it's the third, but, oh well.

So, I go to the dentist every 6 months (as should all of you). But, this is screwed up, I have to take pills 1 hour before I go. That's because I have the heart problem, you know, the surgery when I was 1.5 years old. So, Every year, the amount of pills gets bigger. This year, I had to take 3 whole things. they're, like, 1/4 the size of my thumb (look at your thumb, imagine having to swallow 1/4 of THAT... 3 times). Every time I swallow one, my mouth tastes like cardboard, my hands tingle verociously, and I go to gagging. I have to take 3 of these things! I know why I have to take it, too. In case they accidentally poke my gums (which they've done even at small checkups) and the blood gets infected, it won't hurt my heart.
But, still, If I have to take another one of those things after the third one, I start to throw up. It gets so bad I feel like fainting.
And, then, I have to take one later (4-6 hours later). Why do I have to take that?? Sheesh.

OH, get this. (this cracks me up) I have a friend, she going to washburn, and she has a small acne problem, not that bad. Her parents have taken it into their power to buy some treatment. PILLS! you can actually take pills to get rid of your acne! And the side effects are just terrible. Well, some I can understand, like not eating until 1/2 hour after pill, but, some, like not laying down for an hour after pill, I just don't get. How the hell does laying down effect the pill?

Well, as you all know, our health is critical, but, for some of us, it's just downright annoying. Like, for instance, I have ADHD, so, I have to go to an ADHD doctor every 6 months. Then, I have my heart doctor, who I had to see every 6 months (we changed it recently to every year). THEN, I have my normal doctor whom I have to see every 6 months. ALSO, I have the dentist every 6 months. And some of them dentists try to be cutesy around me because I look like i'm 10. "So, how's school doing? Are the teacher's nice? Do you get stickers for good grades or E for excellent?"
I say, "Just shut up and fix my teeth. I really don't want to be here, and you don't want to shove your face into little kid's mouths all day, do you?" I just don't like the dentist after the time I went, and they had a little pool of water on the bottom of my mouth to clean their instruments. I literally choked on the stuff, I was trying to get up, trying to breathe, they held me down, all until I jerked forward, scraped my cheek on a sharp instrument, and gagged so loud, I heard a little child start to wail. Phew, I'm glad I got a new dentist. LOL!!!

And, some of the doctors out there... Ugh!
They think that more's better. It is, I agree. They just don't understand.
Like, take my friend, for instance, she sees things, and hear things, and It spooks her out. So, she gets these pills for it. She started out with 1, then two, and then, she needed a higher XL (which means the amount of power in each pill). The doctor gave her not a higher XL, but a higher amount of pills. I swear, she's taking 10 a day.

I went to get my 6 month checkup to the normal doctor (as all of you should also do). I was led into a room, and told to change into this outfit. Usually, they have tie up stuff in the back, and usually it's made out of cloth, but I got a paper outfit that was glued at the straps, and cut all the way down in the back. Luckily, I kept my undies on. Shudder.
Later, since I'm going into highschool, they always have to ask these questions, like, are you taking any drugs, are you acting out, have your parents been divorced. Then she asks, "Personally, are you having sex?" I say, "no."
"Are you sure you're not having sex?"
yeah, I'm not sure if someone's penis has been in my vagina, maam. I'm not sure if someone has had sex with me... how can you NOT BE SURE if you're having sex????? I asked her, she said that some people come in not knowing what sex is.
Don't you learn that in, like, 5-6th grade???

Whatever.
Yesterday, I went to Kenny with this big gallon of margarita mix. it was fun! And there was this big Flock of bats above the park. It looked so cool! They started flying in that big O formation.

Well, I gots to go guys. so, bye!

banana Alabama

what the hell is with this Hannah Montana crap??
Everyone knows about the Miley Cyrus deal, how she's riveting, young, and famous, how she's getting millions of contracts with thousands of companies, how her father's becomming famous again, and how she's the american girl's dream.

What the heck happened to her lately? I mean, at first, I must admit, it wasn't a good sucess in the first week, (I even remember when it came out, too_ but, then, it took off, setting up her contracts, her shows, and her concerts. She was Hannah Montana on the screen, Miley Cyrus on the stage, and an "innocent little angel" for the while.

But, ever since then, it's been downwards. She's got billions of fans, and I think it's gotten to her. I mean, look at what Lindsey lohan used to have. She had millions of fans, fame power, and lots of talent... that was later put to waste in her fan power crazy!!!

Now look at her. She's a bit unsteady on her feet, when she's still recovering from her old breakdown.

And, also, Brittney spears. Must I say more?

Not to mention the recent rumors that have been spreading around, like the boyfriend thing, and the eminent rumor of her having sex (which are all not true). I see this happen to many young stars, especially the ones that are, as to say, "hip". They try to better themelves to make them more likable, popular, and favorable. Im presonally, see right through it. If that's not the case, Jealous stars say stuff about the other girl to make her fall lower. It demeans the woman, and the victim, thus giving both of them a chance to break down.

I don't like this one bit. I don't like hannah montana's steriopypical lyrics (which I find terribly writen and sang), and I don't like her having to fall so quickly. I bet in the next year she will be like another brittney spears.

And, I haven't even mentioned her father. Have you ever had a science project partner who wants everything their way, does no work, and takes all of the credit?? Their name?/???

Billy Ray CYRUS!!
That's right! His daughter's in the spotlight, and, since he had only a one week hit, takes the glory (at least as much as he can). So, I just feel sorry for the blindsighted fans who can't tell the difference between a person who doesn't know how to write a song and someone who can act, and for Miley, whose fame is being stoled due to her two faced father.

I must say this, because I feel terrible for not.
And, please, I'm not hating on anyone, I'm just giving my 2 cents into this world.

Moving

ugh, sorry this post is so late.
I've been trying to get the moving stuff done. It's a lot of work, I must say.

Well, We're done, though. My mom's stuff is all at her house, and my dad's completly moved out of his old house (he had to be at 2 pm yesterday) and got all his stuff here.

So, to amuse you, I'll show you my favorite animation.

they're called the
iLLWiLLPRe$$.

they're really funny, and get this, it's one guy doing all of this stuff!

So, yeah, chech out Halloween Hoopla.

Oh, and guess what just came into my neighborhood? well, here are the clues...
-Annoying music
-goes 3 mph
-free ice cream on tuesdays!

Ugh, it just drove by. It's so annoying!!

but, lol, there were so many people outside of the truck! old neighbors and friends came by to enjoy this tasty, chilly treat.

dudes, the best thing they have is the Strawberry Sundae Crunch!! Many agreed.

So, yeah, don't worry. I'm going to be writting a topic rant soon, i've just been busy. God, I hate this moving crap!

VALLEYFAIR!

yep, yesterday, I went to Valleyfair with my mom's side of the family.
Well, my 2 Aunts, 6 cousins, 2 girlfriends of Cousins, 1 uncle, 1 sister, and one ME!

Dudes, Whenever we go, it always rains (well, even for 5 minutes) So, I got 2 bags of minidonuts on the way out (that stuff can last me the whole month!).

Also, If you go onto my myspace, I got some pictures from a school party I held, so, check that out if you can.

Why didn't I see this coming??!!!

Whenever my family comes down (SHayna, Danielle, Josh, etc. my cousins) I always get left out because they're oh so popular, they all have cellphones, they all have boyfriends, etc.

Why Can't they just try to include me into stuff?? It just Pisces me off sometimes that they would do this. Bu t, it happens EVERY YEAR! ANd, get this, Danielle comes up to me and says," Why are you so down, jackie?"
"Well, no one's including me into stuff."
and, with a childish voice meant for a 5 year old, she says, "How about WE take a picture, Jackie? :D"
I say, so sarcastically i can't believe she didn't get it, "SURE! THAT'S BE GREAT!"
She gets ready to take a picture, and I just can't believe her. Ugh, Sometimes I just don't want to be with them, but, they only come down once a year (and they haven't been down in 5 years due to their addition to their house) and I don't care if I talk with them anymore. I lost them.

that's just it.
I lost them!!!
... I lost them. : (

hey!

Well, I'm bored.

But, I won't be. My family's coming up from North Dakota!! They used to come, like, every year. But, they took a few years off to finish their basement addition. So, now they're coming! I can't wait to show them all of the new rides at ValleyFair!

Wow, pretty short post...

It was not the first day...

hey, guys, remember that book me and my friend were going to write?

We got the first few chapters.

here it is.


It was not the first day that Fen had seen death.
She had men on both sides of her, as she walked down the hallway. She glanced behind; Kloven, his broad shoulders, his brown eyes, and his pale skin as cold as ice. He seemed to be crying, or was it just the gauge in his mouth? She glanced to her right, Fuzzle, his black hair, his green eyes, and his tall, slim frame. She noticed how he seemed to be tense, his hand on his dagger, ready for any sudden movement. The guards on her sides seemed to notice the disturbance, and put hands on their hilts. She imagined, again, what it was like to have affection for those two, and to be able to dismiss one with the ease of a finger snap. Goosebumps ran down her arms, and she shook the thought out of her head. She felt her ankle-long cape drag a bit on the floor. She sped up a bit to keep from tripping.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked over the warm hand. “Listen... Fen," Fuzzle said, “Just remember Miig, and this will all seem right.” She remembered. Oh, did she remember. She began to feel a rock in her throat, going down farther. She tried coughing, but only lodged it lower. She tried to think of a happy place. She pictured a cabin, in the woods, where no civilization could hear of her, and deathblossoms in the front yard. Surprisingly, it seemed real enough to melt the rock, at least melt it enough to numbness.

She must’ve stopped in her tracks, in front of a door, because fuzzle’s arms were around her shoulders. She looked over them to see Kloven, facing the other way. He surely must’ve been hiding tears. She felt only now the comfort of Fuzzle’s warmth, and it made her feel secure. “Secure,” She thought to herself, sounding absurd to her own ears. “Remember, you’re a rogue,” She reminded herself,” You’re never secure.”

She whispered to Fuzzle to let her go, and, with a sigh, he dropped his arms. She turned around on her heels, and faced the other way with a feeling of must. She looked at the heading above the door, “Asylum Ward”, as if it were her own death. She looked back at Kloven, with a feeling of surrender, as she turned her head back, pushing the doors open, and smelling the familiar stench of sweat, blood, and bodily fluids, She wished that she had never come.
After all, it wasn’t the first day she’d seen death.


Ok, I agree, not much yet, but, we're working on it. so, heheh...

Well...

heheh, HAPPY 4TH!...

and, uh, well... yeah, well! That describes my absence to this blog.

I went straight to band camp right after 10 hours of rest at home after I got back from New Orleans.

I went straight there and...

Well, no one reads this blog, so i can post this here. i met this guy at Band camp... HEHE! He's cute. He looks about 17 (though I don't know for sure) and he's got brown eyes and Black hair...

Oh well. He'll be there next year for sure.

Anyway. I got back from that. i BARELY got a week at home before going over to My dad's Girlfriend's Cabin for the 4th of July weekend. OMG, they have a Bald Eagle's nest... WITH A CHICK!!!

The funny part is that it isn't really a "Chick" anymore. I mean, it's still about 2 months old, but, DAMN! they grow up so fast! all week, whenever I heard it scream, I knew it was saying, "MOOOOMMM!!! FEED ME! FEED ME!!!!!"
it was so cute.
and, we went Blueberry hunting and found this HUGE patch of Blueberry shrubs. It was so cool!

god was surely up there with us. It was so close to nature. We went on a boat ride through this channels of rivers and lakes. At some random time, a fish might jump, or a herring fly right next to us, WE EVEN SAW A BEAVER! it was so cute!

that whole week, I was loving the water up there. IT MAKES YOUR SKIN and HAIR so SOFT!!!
Not to mention the wind howling at me every second, I felt like Isi.

Well, I got back about 3 hours ago, and I got to say, IT IS HOT!!! yesterday was so cool, so inviting to be outside, and today i'm BEGGING my dad for the AC! maybe it's just the lake calling me back...

Oh well. I gtg.

Byes.

HEY, BAND CAMP!!

That's right. I was at band camp ALL WEEK! It was so fun. Especially from Wednesday to Saturday (when I left). There was this guy there. He was ( I can say this, because I never, IN MY LIFE, say a hot guy before), he was cute.

And, he's coming back next year.
Oh, and, I'm writing a book with Sarah (girl from camp) not that I think of it. So, get ready for 2009's best seller!

Ugh, it is so boring now at my house.

Oh, and I finished a new FIRST.

There was a hornet at my house yesterday. When I was on the computer, it flew a centimeter from my hand! I jumped a bit, as Razz tried to bite it. He bit it, and got stung. He spat it out. *dumb dog* Luckily the hornet still had its stinger.

Then I was typing on the computer, and I lowered my arm, and guess what stung me right under my arm??

First time I ever got stung. No crap whatsoever.

Anyway, not much else. So, BYE.

This Trip

Boy, this trip has been heaven and Hell for me. I don't know exactly who really cares about that now, though, since I've been talking about it for a long while.

On Wednesday, we went to the 9th ward.

The 9th Ward was the zone of New Orleans most affected Physicaly. Many Houses were blown away completly. Many were still fixable, but many more were beyond compare. Many people in New Orleans in General went to the Superbowl for protection, mostly because they said they would be fed and taken care of there. But, what happened was, there wasn't enough food, many parts flooded, parts of the roof even broke off, resulting in death of either starvation, disease, or drowning.

When we went to the houses, we saw what looked to be like gravel. But, instead, it was seashells. Imagine, coming home after a hurricane (if you even came home, which many people still haven't) and finding SEASHELLS, miles away from the beach, in your front yard. :*(

When we went into one house, we found a big gaping hole in the floorboard. There were no walls, only wood framing and few pipes. We went into the garage and saw a bed, A BED, against the wall, facing a TV. I was scared to find a skull somewhere or a corpse. It would have fit in the scene well. :*(

I went down to pick up a frame, and a boy (Unanimous) stepped on it. "What the hell as that for, *****?" Miriam sid," This isn't our stuff" He replied "Well, no one lives here anyway. What does it matter" As he kicks a christmas tree (made from fine china) against the wall about 5 feet away, nearly shattering it.
Out of all of that rubble, I look down, and I'm shocked beyond compare (no shit whatsoever). I pick up a plastic rose, off of the stem, and red. It was like in a Movie. It made my heart feel warm, my eyes water, and my heart feel so open, so broken, and my soul feel present.

Well, I feel really scared because of something that I was today. So, I'm going to have to stop this post for now so that I can think this situation through. So, til I come back to the city, byes.

the heat is KILLING ME

you should be here, so that I'm not the only one who's suffering the heat!! It's quite a change. It feels like 100 sometimes, even 110. (then again, compared to Minnesota's current weather, lol!)

But, oh, I found 15$ on the ground when walking around the levees yesterday, so, now, I GOT MONEY!!!


hehehe.

So, yeah, it's hot down here. I just wish you could see it. :)

Guess where I am!!!!!

hehehe. I can't believe I'm here!!


hehe, it's such an educational experience. It's really emotional coming down here for the missionary work we're doing. Also, we went into the FRENCH QUARTERS yesterday. The architecture was so awesome!! Real oil lamps in the housing AND stores, the Beautiful Landscaping, and the PEOPLE!! there were street performers like nothing I've seen before. It was so unreal, and yet, so real in itself!

Ugh, I just wish you were all here with me to experience such a thrill, such a shock, and yet, such emotion.

well, once I get back, I've got a lot of pictures!!!!! so, seeya til then!

MY 50TH POST!!!

THAT'S RIGHT!!

I'm so glad you guys could read this all of the way to 50.

since this is a very important post, I'm blogfging a very serious illness, Anorexia.

There's someone I know who feels fat but isn't. I've promised to stay out of her issues (though I wish I didn't). So, instead of doing that, I guess I could write about it.

Anorexia is where you think you are fat, so you throw up your food to make yourself skinnier. You feel you need to throw up ANY meal you ate and feel like you're losing weight.

The seriousness of this is like Belemia, where you eat, but you make yourself throw up and, due to throwing up a lot, your stomach gets wheasy and you throw up more.

Side affects are
-If they have lost 25% of their normal body weight.
-they have missed 3 consecutive periods (for girls)
-they never eat in public (or don't want to)
-they constantly say they're fat
-They have been depressed lately.
-they have suffered a loss (family, relationship, etc.)
-they are 90-95 lbs on an average weight frame (that is, if it's not their recommended weight)
(small note, average Anorexic/bulimic is 16 years old)

Anyway,if you know anyone like that, ask them to look this up at
http://www.teenhotlinecentral.com/Hotline_Facts.htm#_Eating_Disorders
thank you, and congratulations on making it to my 50th post!


If u know someone who might be anorexic, take note of it. Maybe they're just not hungry around lunchtime or something. But, If you start to see the side affects listed above, you might want to talk to them.

Remember, if they don't want you to help, that's you're decision to either go against them for help, or with them for friendship.

But, if you go against them, I've found the Minnesota hotline at

Another day in Computer Lab

This is a boring day. The nly thing Amusing is the Monistic character we have in our school. She is losing most friends due to the worst illness someone can be diagnosed... "Ignorance".

Ugh, and the "No Passes" policy is terrible. Ugh. I got to go pee so badly and the teacher won't let me. Of course, other teachers are more lenient towards the matter. (then again, what aren't they lenient about?)

Also, the neew game in Science is awesome.
Click Here to play "The Chase".

Next, a poem about
forgiveness.

Poem

that's right! Tonight, i'm posting The Shadow, pt 3, the Father?" on
TheShadowByNeautiqueNarcia.blogspot.com. Be sure to read it.

Also, I posted a few new poems.
Click here to view them.

... blargh. This class is so boring without music. Also, I have only 1 friend in here I can talk to and he/she's over in the corner of the room and I can't talk to him/her.

BLARGH! oh well, this fills the void.

well, byes. someone's looking over my shoulder (stop it!)

Slap me in the face, it wont hurt as bad!

ugh, this is what I hate about some people on the internet. They think that they can just talk about anyone they want just because they're on the internet, no one really cares to read, and no one will get hurt.

I learned the hard way (sorry to those I've hurt) that it can hurt those involved if they read it. No matter what you try to do, you can never get anything of of the internet once it is on. I just wished that my friend would know that.

But, I can't take the valley out of the girl, now can I? I hope that you guys can pray about that tonight. I don't care if people read this, I just care if you get hurt by it. If you do, please comment. And, don't worry, she got a comment from me today. She better be ready.

For i'll be sure to talk to her...

Ugh

I'm bored out of my mind.

I don't know why but I'm feeling really shitty today. I feel tired, depressed, let down, just BLARGH!

And, sorta like last year, where no one really liked me.

Oh well. I think I just need a hug from my Chewy and I'll feel fine. I just want today to end.

well, I'm going to post a poem, seeing as I only have 5 minutes left of class. seeya later. Bye.

Some Crap that Bugs me

Topic: Dress Code

Antagonist: Those who do not follow the rules of the topic

Conflict: Faulty Punishment


Blog Post: Ok, this is what pisses me off most of the time. this shit happens way too often and I need to bring it to attention here.

Everyone knows about my green hat I wear to school now and then. Well, I get in trouble more often than the girls who wear miniskirts to school almost EVERY DAY!

When I try to bring it to my peer's attention, Cell comes up with the reason "No one cares. No one really keeps track of that stuff. Hats are more obvious." It's like whenever I take a step forward in this dilema, someone always brings me 10 steps back. In this case, it was reality.


I should know now that no one will really care about miniskirts more than hats.

I hate to be the fashion police. thank god i'm not.
I'm just saying that I feel that Miniskirts are really, should I say, skankish. It just shows off the legs that must be shaved everyday to look cute and gets guys thinking about Lala and perverted stuff that Guys are famous for doing.

So, why do girls wear them? even when they BREAK the Dress Code list?

Is this some new form of Rebellion, wearing Skimpish clothing and demeaning yourself to feel better than someone else just because men think of you less than an object?


Ugh, I hate this. Someone's looking over my shoulder now and then to check what i'm writting. ugh. Well, i'm off to write poetry. Sheish as it is, I gtg. byes.

4th period blues

I've got the blues. we're not watching the rest of "A MidNightsummer's Dream" by Shakesphere in class. That movie ws awesome, concidering it was traditionally a play. So, fuck off all of those who say that I'm dumb, stupid, a "hopeless romantic", or anyhting else that's been floating around lately (ahem, not to name names, *achoo*Jenna, *Cough*Derek) only because I like the movie... *glares at Train*

Also, another bit of quotes.

Is santa so jolly because he knows where all of the bad girls live??

Why is Abbreviation such a long word??

This class is so boring. It's funny though, because gabe is being teased for leaving his other class to try and stay in this one. Train needs to let it go. Sheesh. and for a guy that drives everyone in sight mad, he has a pretty short temper! Also, no one will ever shut the fuck up, so that gives me way to say that Haugfried either needs to be more strict, or let me, Savagia, and Cell on the computer WAY MORE OFTEN!

Anyway, everyone has to sit and work on the survey. hehehe. we're special.

eh, who cares? lol!

The Original Blog

This is sorta wierd now.

I was the first person to make a blog at my school. Then, Sami made SamiSAysWrawr.blogspot.com. Then, Katie Made HairyKingKong.blogspot.com. And then, here come other people that only post stuff like "How to suck a dick" or, my favorite, " 10 ways to say Nigger to a white Bitch".


Ok, first off, they are dumb. and second, if they have some quality to them, I hope the teachers don't find out. Then, my school posts are O.V.E.R.!

I don't know why, but whenever I find something good that I can do, someone always comes in and takes that away from me being better. Now, I have nothing good that only I can do. What am I to do now??

I know this might be selfish, ignorant, and downright vein, but, it's for a self esteem thing to be good at something you're proud of. I just don't know what that is anymore.

But, don't worry. I'm still posting this blog. It IS the original, is it not?


Ugh, but, I pray that the teachers don't get into this stuff. Oh, i can really see mr. Erickson posting "How to pass my class" or Mrs. redig posting "what's Bubbleology?"

Speaking of, traigh was talking in science class when Mrs. Redig asks him to be quiet. "No! I'm not talking... damn." was his response. She asked him later the same thing, he blew up at her for asking him when he's not the only one talking.

Thank god someone mentioned it to her! She needs to know that her behavior dealing with children in 5th period is not acceptable.

I mean, take for example, this incident. She punishes the quietest student who happens to be asking for a pencil when there's a Blabbermouth over on the other side.

And, I think someone, instead of blowing up at her, should just sit down with her, maturely, to discuss the situations and give your examples.

I would, but, I hate that teacher more than the devil himself.

Good thing i'm "finishing my MCAs" today. actually, that thing is pretty easy to pass. I just finished. I just don't want to go back to science. Ugh, like I said, that teacher just bugs me.

but, I gtg now. byes.

Damn

Well, no more Computer Lab for the Blog, so I'll have to find time at home now. lol.

I might be missing Choir though (due to lack of ride there) and I might be able to work on it then.

Anyway, I just finished my Poems for Edgar Allen Poe.

I made pancakes today. and, (not to be the food critic) Hungry Jack Pancake Mix is a bid dry. But, that's just my own opinion.

OMG, the Choir concert was yesterday for Mother's day.
The service was spectacular. But, I'll never know how the 2nd service wws, because SOMEONE wanted to leave early. ...Amy! Dad! blargh!


that's the wierd thing, though. I am, like, the only person who goes to church and is somewhat religious. MY dad's catholic, though, so I never know. But, my sister and my mom don't go to church often. It's a bit wierd.
\
Well, since I have no more time, I gtg. Byes.

Best Book EVER!

Most will agree, if you have ever read it and/or have the mind to read thee kind of books (roma, good moral, good storyline, awesome lyrical words, etc.) you would read it over and over again. Book of a Thousand Days is the best book ever!

I'm reading it over for the 4th time. It's better than Enna Burning!!! And that's a sequel Book!

Well, not many people have good taste in books. I know I might not be one of them, so, I'd read it if I were yu, just to make sure.


Ugh, today is boring for some reason. I don't know why, but it seems so dull.

(continue later)

my 40th post!!!

hey, hey! My 40th post!

hehe.

oh, hehe, I wrote another poem. Check it out at PoemsbyNeautiqueNarcia.com to read it and many more.

Ugh, another rant. why hath god created Crushes??

I hate it. I hate the whole insanity of it. sheesh, it's just an excuse for girls to blaim their hormones on other guys.

And, now, people are asking me who. Why would I tell? I don''t blame them. I blame my hormones (sheesh guys reading this must feel pretty awkward). Ugh, it's perfectly normal, but, once you got them in your head, you can't get them out. Am I right, girls?

Ugh, I just wish that this insanity would GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!!! AAACCHHH!!!!


... uh, yeah. lol

Well, it's TOMORROW!!! hehehehe.
I can't wait. I've been planning this for the past 2 months!!! I wish it was friday already! ach. And after that, my dad's holdig a poker party at his house. I'm going to help out (and even play a little). But, I have to get this Friday situation over with first.


Well, back to post the poem. see you all later, and thank you for reading to my 40TH POST!

Rant on Laziness (all too common)party

I'm so excited!!! it's on Friday!!! everyone's reminding me. I'm asking almost everyone if they can. If you can, get ready for some awesome fun. Check out samisayswrawr.blogspot.com for more information. hehehe. I can't wait!!


Ugh, this class is so boring. I'm in science again, and (since I'm done on black Holes) I'm just gonna rant on a subject that's been eating me since It entered.


I know this is an old subject, but, I'm still befuzzled by some stuff.

Everyone knows about the infamous person at school who's purposely skipping school, using her temporary "sickness" as an alibi. Now, In the 4th quarter, i know people that slack off (or, again, skip the whole quarter) using one of the most popular excuses, "I'm going to high school anyway".

everyone knows my view on that. It's downright wrong. Not only are those people skipping valuable learning time (a terrible excuse on my part I must say), but, I mean, even though you're going to high school, the teachers at high school continue on from the lessons currently being taught by the teachers. If you're not here to learn it, you're not only going to school unprepared, but you give a horrible example of Anthony Middle School (trust me, we must keep as much of a reputation we have left of Anthony Middle School as possible, lol).

And, also, if you get used to this "slacking off", how will you adjust to High school??
I have a sister that actually goes to high school, and trust me, there's not one night that she doesn't complain about the work, the teachers being to hard, and/or the students who slack off. Coming from my family, that's all too common. LOL

So, anyway, just remember that you must keep youreslf in school. And, hey, remember, it's up to YOU, yes, you, to stay in COLLEGE. How will you survive College if you can't even survive high school, not to disclude Middle school!!?

Ugh, it just shows how lazy and selfish you are to blo the rest of the year off. UGH.

(get "him" out of my head! it's really getting bad, readers. And it doesn't help whhat he''s doing everyday. someone help me!)

Hat Experiment

the Official results of the Hat Experiment!!!


Ok, for those who are just tuning in, here's the scoop.

I had recently been seeing some corrupt teacher who are breqaking the rules on some students and not others.

Here's where the test comes in. My part of the experiment is to bring some perspective into their lives. What I'm doing is going to school, doing my work, and wearing a hat. As all of you know, a hat is against the dress code. I don't know why. I really don't care why either. But, Since it is the only rule that I really want to break, I am wearing a hat to school. What am I waiting for, then?

I am waiting for the teacher to come and tell me to take it off. Now, will they?

Here's the results of my Test. It is a bit messed up, though, due to the difficulty of some subs. So, I will mix in the results from Friday and Today, Tuesday.

(Homeroom) Tuesday- (No comments, hat Unscathed)
(Period 1) Tuesday- (Immediate Comment, Hat taken off)
(Period 2) Tuesday- (Unnoticed, Hat taken off only to due notice by pupils-followed by racial comment)
(Period 3) Tuesday- (Unnoticed, Hat Unscathed)
(Period 4) Friday- (Compliment X1 by teacher, hat unscathed)
(Period 5) Tuesday- (No Comment, hat unscathed)
(Period 6) Friday- (Immediate comment, hat taken off)

You see, this isn't even the beginning. This is just sad.

what happens is the teachers believe that if they look at every rule and focus on every little detail that they won't have enough time for teaching. DUDES, IT'S CALLED QUALITY!
What they're doing is just downright dimwittable. they're just giving the assignment to us and expecting that we listened.

You see, this is where they screwed up on the lesson. What they're forgettng is that people often don't care about the greater good. They're often to vein to see. I can admit that I have been like that some times, so Do not feel like i'm picking on you til the cows come home.

Another problem is that the teachers often don't have time to teach us anything becauwse they're to busy preaching about being quiet in class. People need to shut up before he/she blows up like that. Some of us want to learn, not to listen to some inside Joke where someone says, "Yes, and a chicken, too!!!" and those on the other side of the room Bust a got!
If you haven't noticed, that really pisses off teachers!

I'm not saying i'm on their side or yours, I'm just a shadow on the wall, watching your pupils and teachers and observing their practices on life.

I have no opinions, I am being open minded, and I'm being confidential about all examples. Do not hate me for being "Emo", depresseed, or just "Mad, dude!" or even the most common one now, "Hippocritical" and "fucking retarded as hell, you douschbag!".

It bugs me like a mosquito itch that people don't even see this, people like ******** and ********. Boy, those guys just tick me off a lot!

I just got to stop now and take a break.

Well, that's it. Pretty sad. Next time I should try an Ipod or music player. LOL. The dean would probably ask me if he could use it and give it back during the middle of History!!!

Oh well. Well, that's it for now. (Ugh, I have this guy stuck in my head. Get HIM OUT!!!!!
Fudge. Crushes are annoying.)

I'm holding an experiment, due to my last post, n my subject that I am focusing on.

I am breaking one of the oldest, and most prolonged rules, upheld my all uncorrupted teachers. If this experiment works, which is mostly has today, It will reveal who I think are tthe Unfair, unjust, and Corrupt.

So, What I am doing is Wearing a hat and going to classes as normal. And, yes, it is as obvious as wearing headphones or talking on a Cellphone, which some people at my school are dimwitted enough to do.

Well, so far, I've put the facts on a chart and taking note of other stuff, like, any compliments from teachers, timing the amount of time it takes for the class to cease talking, how many times the teacher is interrupted.

I found out, earlier today, that the facts would be scrambled up too much for me to do it today, (friday) because of the Excitement level in the classrooms and being a Substitute in Science (not to disclude the fact that we had the Honor roll Assembly today in the Auditorium). So, I will postpone the experiment til Tuesday, (continue later) Fuck the teacher!!! agh!

Hey!!

So many people have birthdays in April and March!!!

Including mine. April 30th!!

WEll, away from that, Iron MAn is going into theaters. I suggest going on Monday, Being no school!!!
Motto of the Day:
Pain is just the Realisation of Absent love.

SAd, huh? Yep, That''s a motto for me. I hate how I can't get this thing off of my mind. i EVEN DREAMT OF IT LAST NIGHT!! get him/her/idea out of my head!

oh well, I can only hope.

Ugh, this is one thing I promised myself I would Blog about, and that is corrupt teachers/deans/principles.

Ok, first I want to remind you that use of Ipods, Cellphones, MP3 players, etc. are BANNED during school hours on the school premises.

THis is just sad. In Math Class, (and I bet by now all of you have heard of this) The dean came in to call over one of Mr. Erinkson''s students. She later came back into class saying "He wanted to use my Ipod because he forgot his Cellphone! HA!"

well, HA is right!

in Mr. Haugen's class, Many students, including me, have been harrased by students and pupils of many kinds. Mr. Haugen does what? "I'll keep an eye of them." he says, right in front of them, too. Now are they going to be mean??

Now, the next day, Mr. Haugen says they've behaved fine. Ok, then, here come the pencils at my head again.

And I am not sarcastic when I say that (I am not being racist at all here) Black Kids call white kids the N word. Ok, Forst, they're not even black. But, they are not Ignorant, either. Sheesh, what's with teenagers these days where they can think they can swear at anyone just because they're older?!

People at our school use( or used to A LOT last year) physical abuse. There would be fights, Blowouts, and a lot of Suspensions because of that. Each day, I would hope to have a camera to tape the next fight.

Ughie. Well, I gtg. So, see you guys at school, then.

Abandonment, Good?

Well, go to the polls on The ShadowByNeautiqueNarcia.blogspot.com and vote on the poll.

Don't worry, part 2 is being edited soon and will be posted on. I apologize for being a bit late about it.


I just have one thing that I want to talk about, and that is how some people think that since they're already going to Highschool anyway, that they can Blow off the rest of the school year and do no homework.

Ugh, how many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn't slack off?!

I mean, COME ON! The MCA's are still going on for this week. Don't slack off. Remember how last year we got the highest scores on those tests in the Twin Cities (maybe even the state, I forgot)??

If you blow off now, what example will we set for the other Grades, that we can just blow off tthe rest of the year just because we can go to highschool.

It's just like saying that We can just become hobos because we can still live.

Well, is that such a good example??

Also, what will happen when we go to highschool. If you blow off this Quarter, we won't be well equipped for the Learning ahead. (Guess who'll be the hobo then?)

Well, I have more rants to do, But, SOMEONE's looking over my shoulder to read my stuff (u know who). Byes til then.

Yesterday, where did u go?!

Don't you all agree that yesterday was so Beautiful??
... where did that all go??

Today, It's sunshine, happy rainbows, and thin clouds...

But, yesterday was rain. I LOVE rain. It's like the Sky's tears coming down to shed our remorce. But, today, It's not raining! I want it to rain SO badly!!

Speaking of yesterday, I got some Information informing me on This saturday. We (Being Spirit of David from Park Avenue Methodist church) are holding a Benefit Concert in about 3 weeks. I will find out more info and I'll inform you. I hope that most of my readers can come.

Also, This week on saturday, we're holding a 30 Hour Famine (It starts on Friday a dncontinues on To Saturday) party! we will be serving Spaghetti, Bread, salad, and much more. It's at 4:30 at Park avenue United Methodist Church.

I hope you can come.

Well, I gtg. Byes.

Well, here I am

hey, I just go the Movie Juno on DVD! it's awesome. I just finished the scene where Vanessa's Holding Juno's Baby. "How do I look?..." I heard, as my mother yels, "Neautique! time for choir!"
So, off I go. And, here I am! lol.

Hey, don't give up hope. I'm still working on The Shadow. I've just been Busy with my B-day planning... (which is in 9 days!!!) I can't wait! I hope that It's raining on my B-day. That way, I can take a bike ride to Lake harriet with my closest friends and eat ice cream like in the Summer. (hehe, that was one good day!)

BUt, also, I'm hoping that my "friend" says hapy B-day (well, I have to tel him!). Ugh, This is one thing I hate about Crushes, You can't gt them out of your head!!!

But, u know what? It's declared, I'm over my old crush! I'm so happy. I feel FREE! ... I hope that's not too wierd...

Oh well. It sucks because I have a new one. I just want to be friends, but, I can't stop thinking about him, and It's annoying after a while.

But, I have to go now.

Byes. (and don't worry, I will be working on "The Shadow, part 2" after my B-day party/celebration). hehe.

UFO's.

Dude, I can't find another word for the title, because I BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE REAL AND THAT SOME VIDEOS THAT ARE ON THE INTERNET ARE ACCURATE PROOF OF REAL LIFE ETs. It is hard to take in the fact that there is other life in this Universe. I mean, most of us are having a hard time getting past our technology now! Wonder how they'll feel when More technology comes in!!

seriously, for some awesome trip, I'd like to go to rosswell!! Or, maybe, Buenes Aires. the mayans have relations with Aliens I hear! lol.

That's only because of the Temples they have there. during a solar eclipse over buenes aires, there was an alien visitation. IT WAS FREAKIN' SCARY! I mean, I wasn't there, but, there are so many videos of it.

but, if there's one thing I hate, it's those who jack up the videos and pretend that they are UFOs. get a life!

"I believe in Paranormal, not UfOs".

Ugh, I hate that line. you believe what you want to believe, But, just saying, when you're the one who posted the video, and there's 3-7 medal balls the size of a head outside your window, hovering above your flowerbed, don't get all "Paranormal" about it! run either for your camera or for your life!

but, seriously, I'm thinking of when I grow up of going to norway.

Oh, its so beautiful there. And around that area's where a lot of UFO sightings have been found... Like, Germany, Russia, Switzerland, Finland, Norway, Sweeden, Holland, etc. lol. I just can't wait til I turn 16!

But, until that day, I just have to keep watching videos on youtube. heheheh...

well, I gtg watch more.

Yesterday, BOORRING! today? BOORRING!

Stupid MCA's. They take so long to finish because when we're done with the day's work, and there's still, like, 1 hour left, she/he won't let us work on it anymore, meaning we have to wait for the next morning to finish it!

If it were up to these rules, I would be DONE by now. I am not kidding. Those tests are a bit easier than what I expected...
But, so annoying.

And, how about English? Did anyone read their poem?
I know I did. And, yes, I took a BIG risk by saying "Piss" out loud to the class. But, there were no interruptions, no gasps, and no blank looks...
until I looked up. It was either the word, the fact that I was literally "ranting" in front of the class then spoke gaily "Thank you" and bent a bit, or the Emotion in the poem.

But, the funny thing is, I turned this poem in last year to Mr. Haugen for Extra credit, and he must not have remembered, for I got an A!

Here's the poem I read out loud.

War

-1 Lives are Wasting,
Time is hasting,
No one wins,
so, keep on chasing.
-5 Chase the truth,
and chase the right,
as we always hear,
"Out enemies we smite!".
-9 But, who's really winning,
Who'll make the last Blow,
be fast, be deadly,
or painfully slow.
-13 Will the Blood be smeared,
will the parade be fun,
The winner be graceful,
or the loser be shunned?
-17If there is joy,
if there is peace,
then why is there hunger,
pain and tease?
-21If there is time,
for fighting and argue,
then,
How can someone truly love you?
-25If we are so cruel,
to have started such a PISS, (he he)
we must have more vanity,
for our hearts to miss.
-29So, keep on Shooting,
defend your side,
because though Victorious,
you have lost your pride. -32

Well, what do u think?
COMMENT! COMMENT!
I know it's amateurish, but, it's the best I've got on this computer so far except The Shadow.

Speaking of, I will post part 2 as soon as I get to my father's house (for the final draft is still on his computer). lol.

Byes til tomorrow.

Too tired, this post sucks.

I'm Just so sleepy today.

Ugh, and It's 8:17 in the morning. I'm just bumbed out from yetserday. And, also, I woke up(about 12 times today) from my alarm clock. STUPID SNOOZE BUTTON! hehe.

But, I had a good dream, so, it's ok. :D

But, yetserday was like hell. I was bored at home. around 3:30, though, I had to go to Church for Volunteer. It was supposed to be at 4:00 (so I was told), so, I go there, and there's no one there. The basement is all dark, and diddo with the top floor. There's just a few people there; office people, John (an AWESOME guy there, who helps children with homework on SAturdays), and this guy I used to talk to... (Idon't know why he was there). Anyway, I called dad and went home.

Turns out, though, that it was at 4:30!! I can't believe I missed it.

And, I need to volunteer so i can pay for my trip to "New Orleans". If I haven't told you, my choir is taking a missionary trip to "New Orleans", where we will be singing, praising, and uplifting God's gracious words. We're also going to be helping those whose houses and homes have been destroyed, and even still in construction.

I've just been buying time right now to stay on the computer. But, I think I gtg now.

byes.

COMMERCIALS. A WASTE OF MONEY?

You heard it here. Advertisements are a waste!

All they do is spend money on useless computer tricks to entertain the watchers. After the entertainment isn't fun anymore, the viewers get bored. So, the Advertisers spend more money to make it more amusing.

stop with the madness!!!

If it were up to me, I'd just have one commercial, showing where and what the store is, nothing to get bored on, nothing to be amused by, and nothing to skip a potty break on!!

after all, isn't that what we all do during those breaks? all we do is talk, refill on popcorn, maybe go to the bathroom, or turn off the TV if we watched the episode.

and why do we have to have so MANY commercial breaks in between every story (more like every sentence) on so many channels?? It's like one second, you're just sitting down on the toilet, and 10 seconds later, you hear " Vivaaaa, VIIIAGRA!!!" AAAAAAHHHGGGHHHHH! TALK ABOUT PERVERTEDNESS!!!

and about the "Head On" and any other ANNOYING, cartoony, fake, and downright Dimwitted commercials out there, if there's anything we hate more, it's sitting on the toilet, and hearing in the background, "(annoying tune) HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD. HEAD ON, etc. "

But, most are, if you "did not know", and I'm not being racist at all, but, I have noticed a lot of Japanese commercials are a bit annoying.

But none can beat the annoyances of the great hits, BAM and STARBURST, and let's not forget the all time #1, HEAD ON.

so, here it is. I found this on Youtube (my favorite source for videos of any kind).
ejnoy. lol.



but, since I bring up You tube, I have a little rant on that, too.

You can, literally, find anything on You tube nowadays. It's like the new ask Jeeves; everyone knows what it is, and everyone has some form of respect for it.

But, seriously, some of the stuff on You tube is a bit, well, DUMB. like for one, some person might say, "You tube, *clap Clap* Bring me a farting Panda!" . Well, funny as it might sound, just search it in and you will find, A FARTING PANDA!

but, I'm not the one to complain. I sometimes randomly search stuff, too. It just goes to show that if there's someone for it, there's someone against it, for there will always be hypocrites.

So, don't watch annoying cartoons like those above, remember to randomly search some "rating panda" or anything of your interest, and remember to keep posted on "the Shadow, part 2, the rape" which is coming up.

Thank you for your patience. GOODNIGHT. (ugh, it's 12:40 and I need sleep.) G/nite. And, hey, don't forget about the End of Spring break. Starting today (about 41 minutes ago), spring break is ending rapidly. GET together with some friends, hang out somewhere, or just relax and study for the New (and last, I might add) semester of 8th Grade! haha!

Neautique's Crap Special; How to Forget a Guy In 1 Month

Yeah right.

Now that I am going to mention it, I HAVE NOT EDITED MY POEM YET!!!

After this post, I will type it on computer and be set.

A few things to remember...
*1. This is NOT a reflection of my life. This is a collection of stories heard on the News and by CLOSE and Confidential friends. (They do not go to our school or associate with the making of this Series.
*2. This is a "Crappy Special" by Neautique Narcia (Registered; Copyrighted) and will not be copied in any way without my consent /permission.
*3. This is supposed to be a metaphorical book with a dash of reality. So, please, do not criticize me of not being clear of what I write. If it does not makes sense, then don't read the rest. lol!

.. Ok, I edited this post just now, so, guess what's finished???

go to the website, www.theshadowbyneautiquenarcia.blogspot.com and READ CONTENT WARNING!!!!!
kk. well, I'm going to go on a game of some kind.

hehe, I still can't believe I edited it already!!! Now all I have to do is edit the rest and write more parts.

THANK YOU for having patience. Hope you enjoy it.

Happiness VS Depression... hey, get a life!!!

Ok, first of all, you all must remember that I do rant about stuff that's stuck on my mind. Once you remember that, just keep reading.

what is with some people around here??? I mean, come on!

They are always happy with life. Now, these are people that I have seen around Church, School ( I will not name names, for that would be a Violation to the contract ordering their Identities not revealed), and thoe I know from elsewhere that are all "happy wiith life", easy to laugh with, popular, known for gossiping, and PREPPY, or in some degree a "Dumb Blonde".

And I just want to say... why the hell are they all suddenly acting like this??

They are all suddenly acting, believe it or not, depressed. They put their pictures, their clothes, their happy and girly stuff, and shove it in a box. And it must be a pretty big box, for now they wear hoodies, baggy pants, tight tops, and some are dying their hair black (I will not name names, since that would be rude, first off, and also a violation of the contract to their Identities).

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm ok with them doing that. It's not like i'm a hippocrit. It's that they pretend to be EMO!!

They talk like emo people, act as if they're always sad about life, pretending that no one cares about their feelings (like anyone cares about that, lol), and saying the F word all of the time. and they call that emo?? They start listening to RAP, HEAVY METAL, AND GOTH. It's just plain "steriotypical" of them to be doing this. and for the last time, I AM SICK OF IT!

You might be thinking if I know it's fake, or if They are really sad.

Just to let you know, I have a good eye. I can see when something is sick. I look at their actions and I can see right through it. Most of the time I wish that I did not have this ability. It's not being a "Judgemental Bastard", or even a hipocrit. It's just being less oblivious to most people's actions.

read my blog on Myspace for the Example.

But, you know what, think of this. If the preppies pretend to be emo, the "emo" students might think that they're worse than depressed, but maybe Suicidal instead, or worse. Since the preppies and Dumb Blondes are supposedly happy and "Sunshine", they might tthink that being depressed is in some way, being happy.

But, worse, It just goes to show how sterriotypical this "america' of ours has become. I mean, look at this. Most people would disagree with the following statements...

- Just because you are in some percentage black and live in "da hood" does not make you ghetto.

-wearing hoodies and listening to rap does not make you "Gangsta".

-also, since we're on this subject, just because you have a blog and start wearing fashionable clothes does not make you popular. Whoever made that accusation about me, I would like, no, I pray that you reveal yourself. I pray you step forward to your new title, "Hipocrit", and show the world that, IF YOU DID NOT KNOW, I am NOT popular, cool, or even "HIP". so, for the last damn time, stop with the accusations.

-Just because you like pink and are often happy does not make you preppy.

-Just because you listen to Evanescence and are often sad does not make you GOTH.

-and, furthermost, listening to Heavy metal, wearing black clothes, and say Fuck DOES NOT MAKE YOU EMO!!! steriotypes are cruel to the soul. Labeling Teens in groups, forming steriotypes based on a small minority, and forming hatred on a minute definition; all of these were not made by our god, but by our hatred of the Common folk. we hate the idea of equality, wouldn't you think? That's why we have racism, biast folk, Hitler, WW2 in Europe, and, evidently, Cliques and Sterioptypes.

So, jut remember this when clicking that red X on this window, And for you people out there (you know who you are), Stop with this madness. you're fucking with almost everyone at school, you're messing around not only with those who believe you, butt also those who want to help. What if, one day, Someone says that they want to help you? I'm guessing you won't have the guts to say that you need help.

but, what happens when you really might need that help? What will people think of you then?? Will they believe you, or will "the boy who cried wolf" Finally have someone to relate to?

Just remember, you could save a sanity (a life for that matter). I suggest you see the power you have, and use it for the good side. (ignore the cookies on the Bad side).

Thank you for reading. I just wish that they understood how much it just hurts. And furthermore, It's complete Bullshit. going around, acting all "sad", saying the F word like it was an "it" "is", or "and".

Screw this. I don't think I'll get through to most people at school.

Now, Don't worry. It's actually a god thing you don't see most of this. That means you're not that judgemental. You dont look deeply into the common pupil's actions. The problem is, someone does. And as long as someone can't, someone can (no matter what it might be).

I was just raised to understand and take in more than the average pupil might. Sometimes, I'm not proud of that. Sometimes, though, I'm glad. I can make wiser choices with the certain friends I might pick. I can understand when someone isn't being absolutly truthful.

Well, to close this subject up, Be careful what you do. It could cost you more than you think.

... WHERE THE HELL DID I GET THAT CONCLUSION?? Just understand that I'm sick of it, and get a life!

... Phew! I only have 4 minutes left on the computer.

I'm goonna go now. Hope you learned a few things about this.

Bye Bye!!!!!!... hehe.

Calt tests

boy can this get any easier?

These tests are easy. i'm in the school computers. I just finished.

anyway, the Shadow has not been edited yet. I apologise, and don't worry, it will so be worth it. So, maybe Sunday, It will be edited and ready to post.

Also, again, what's with these tests?! They are the same as last year's... and the year before that... and the year before that.

just melt it down to size, and you see that if you just have a good memory, you can pass it "no problemo".

BTW, come to the play on the 12th (you missed), the 13th (you missed), and the 14th (COME PLEASE!!!). If you can't make it, just stay tuned for a summary of the drama behind the scenes, close captions, and the crew.

sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been a bit busy (I do have a life, you know. lol) and have been practicing for the play.

remember, tune in on Sunday before you go to bed (I'll probably post it around 10 pm-ish, so, stay up). lol. don't worry, school will still be thhere tommorrow (lke you'll worry about that).

-Neautique Narcia, life expert, Social outcast, Strong Believer in miracles.

The Shadow, teaser

Pprimra, a poor child, living in the outskirts of London, Her father a drunk, her mother dead, and her childhood, from Cheerful laughter, to a living hell. This is her story, and only on Neautique's crap about life. So, tune in Tommorrow for "The Shadow", By Neautiique Narcia; Part 1.



hehehe.

Poem, the Awesomeness of the depressionness.

Well, yes, I am done with part 1&2 of "The Shadow", by Neautique Narcia. But, I need my editor (my dad, lol) to edit any errors, and i'm all a gogo!

So, who are you? Well, Foo Fighters, i'm a big fan of you... that's right, i'm listening to them now. lol! the Pretenders is their best song, in my perspective, that is.

Also, about Part 2, it has an innapropriate refference. So, just keep that in mind when reading it. yes, she does NOT know the man, but is still afraid of him. you definetly know why! Also, Benny is a brittish name, right? and to solve the situation on the name, the name does NOT relate to the guys at school named Ben.

Also, have you ever heard "BECAUSE" from the Beatles?? They're awesome!!! They were (in certain studies) more popular that going to CHURCH!!! Anyone who can do that has an enormous power! Too bad they split up. they could have really gone places.

Some people think it was Yoko Ono (John's current wife) that broke up the bond and the band. That's why not many people liked her. John fell head over heals in love with her, and didn't spend so much time on the music for the band. And, many people believe it was her fault. It really isn't. True love is more important than all conflicts we may encounter. Just letting you know that it is.

Well, it's 10:25 pm. I'm going to bed, so, Gnite!

PS: remember, Part 1 of "The Shadow" . Possibly tommorrow!!! hehehe. If I finish part 3.