God has no debt!!

*Sigh* *smile* *giggle* *laugh* *dance around the room* *shush the laugh* *sit down* *giggle again* *tear*

God is great. I can say that with "tear in my eye" meaning. Already highschool is support. I have no more refuge. I have no need for it! I can finally smile. I think of myself as more than some shadow, more than some kid no one likes, no longer a worthless, pitiful, disgusting creep. I feel like I'm in 6th grade again. Before all of the 7th grade stuff, I was completly happy with my life. I was immortally happy. I felt completly refined. Even if it only lasts for a while, it's still home. I'm back...

I'm back, world. earth, Sun, Moon, I'm back. I miss this world. I'll need help, god. I'll need help. But, I won't let you down. Not this time...

I will NEVER let that happen, god. I hope you can hear me. can you hear me, god? I'm not that again. not that thing I called myself. I'm Jackie. I'm me...
I'm me...
*sigh* *Tear* *chuckle* ... *sob* It feels so good to be ME again. I can't even say how it feels... how good this is... how I want to jump to the heavens, shout past the constellations, to sing my heart out! How I can't numb the lump in my throat when I think of all that has happened. I feel so great. So cleansed. So renewed. So new! So old. so different. Sighs couldn't describe this enough. I don't know what to say. I dont know how to describe this. I can't describe this. It's a miracle I'm still here. I can say that full well. I would've gone a long time ago if it weren't for god's blessings. Oh, I couldn't feel any better than this. I know that this will never go. It shocks me that I'm saying this finally with a positive attitude. Oh...
God has no debt.

"leave the past in the past and find our future. For Misery loves company. Well so long, you'll miss me when I'm gone. You're gonna miss me when i'm gone."
Simple Plan (When I'm gone)

"You never really understand how good home is unless you've been somewhere else for a long time."
Juno

"Where can I go from your spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I make my bed in the depts, you are there."
Matthew 1: 8-12

Sigh.

I'm sorry. I'll do a better post next time.
*tear*