Do you believe in God?

And Cassie pulled the trigger. [in the air]
Yeah, I just found this song. :) I love it.
But, I mean, I posted the Playlist on here... I'll go back and make it so that you can search the "Playlist" in the search posts. That'll work. But, in the meantime, I'll just tell you about my latest problems.
First off, if you do not want to hear a nagging complaint, I swear to god, GET OFF MY PAGE...
Everyone gone? ok, now I can Vent.
Ok, FIRST off, I've lost the person who said I could actually call them and vent at. He's ignoring me and it is getting annoying. He said that we can still be friends, but he doesn't seem to be wanting that. The first thing that pops into my mind is "Is he comfortable with this?".
Then, SECOND off, what do I do with the teddy bear, the bandana, the stuff? Do I give it back, sell it, or what? This is the first time I've really gotten something from a boyfriend except for maybe a chocolate bar... but, like I can really give that back, right?
And, THIRD off, when taking in the fact of the "FIRST off", he comes up and expects me to give him a hug when he asks, but almost shuns me out when I try to hug him, and, it's like when I don't hug him back, he walks away sad and acts as if it was a grave unjustice. :P
Fuck this, dude. I can't take this whole "aftermath"... although, I've probably been better at it since I got this break at the Farm this weekend. If not for that, I'd probably be crying in my room right now with some kind of harmful thought in my head... *repress, repress*
But, the trip was fun. I got to see my cousins, my second cousin, my uncles, my aunts, and everyone... even if for less than 24 hours. But, the ride home has got to be the best part of the trip, concidering that it was just me, Mother, and Amy. Amy was in the back, if not driving, and my mother the latter.
God, lol. We were on the road home, it's about 9:50 PM, we've still got an Hour from home, and Amy and I decide to eat somewhere since we're pulling in for gas. WE spot a dairy queen and haul ass! Since they close in 5 min, we see them cleaning up and everything, the very least expecting that no one will come in at all. We order 2 chicken baskets and one Banana split. The deep fryer in the back actually has the nerve to eat one of my chicken strips. So, I get my money back for that whole meal, thanks to my mother's quiet, calm, yet extremely demanding, non-negotiating voice. :) LOVE YOU MAMA...

?
But, I mean, I think the trip really helped me out with this whole dealing with SHITS thing. . . Southwest Highschool Is The Shit... Honestly, how can I stand this? Ugh.
I might just pull him over and talk to him... HA! That's too serious for an EX isn't it? ... is it?
You see, I'm not good at this! I need help with this! I would really like a call from someone so that I could get the assistance I would really appreciate...
AGH! someone save me from the shadows, chasing me as I run in the rain, pouring droplets of serenity, while the shadows consume me, hoping that they go away, praying that they never leave, that he never leaves. Someone help me find my flashlight?
... or a call would be great, too. ;)
So, back to the question, Do you believe in God? I believe he is ignoring me, for why else would I feel pain in my heart?

Good morning depression

since I'm in a recession of happiness starting from Tuesday, I've been deciding to be dormant to most of my online duties.
But, since I do not want to lose any of my adoring Viewers (consisting of Katie and Sami... i'll make it up to you, katie, I swear to god), I'll post something up I found on Facebook.

HOW TO SURVIVE AN EARTHQUAKE
Do you have a treasured childhood toy?
Perhaps a stuffed animal, such as a teddy
bear? Well, let's see Mr. Bear help you now.

Just thought you might like that. Back to crying in a corner...

Just random

Tomorrow is my party. i am ... EXCITED!!!
I HAVE COOKIE DOUGH AND PIZZA AND SALAD AND AN AMAZING TRAMPOLINE AND FRIENDS AND A SUNROOM ALL TO MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS AND NO SISTER IN THE HOUSE...
And I'm screwed. I mean, I haven't toggen the food yet, I haven't done some of my work in my Geography class as I have to have done by Wednesday...AGH!
Oh, and I have my hair dyed again. Guess what color?
That's right... RED! like this color...
RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED
RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED
... Great, now I sound like Katie on rock band when she was playing the bass part for Guitar...
It goes YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW...over and over again...
It's rather annoying. But, anyways, I am excited for tomorrow. :)
Peoples are coming over and hanging out at mah parties!! And I hope that some of you guys bring food because I might not have enough for 10 teenage kids, especially when half of the teenage population will be Sophmore boys(sorry to say, but, you got to know this. you guys eat like PIGS). lol.
Oh, and get this, I looked up French Taboo on Wikipedia (even though I'm probably not supposed to use that site for my project) and I got the result PROFANITY... I looked down and I found "Mi automobile es futite!" which aparrently means "My car is fucked". HA!
But, I have my playlist that you can listen to right now. Here it is. ENJOY.

byes.

forget the last post for a minute

it seems that my laptop is being stupid and won't load the poems onto the website. So, i am waiting for it to listen to me *glares at the monitor* and I'm going to post on here, seeing that I do not want to slave in listening to my mother talk about periods, metapose, and going into labor... *hears loud screams from the floor below her as the rest of the women laugh* *shudders* eheh... creepy.
ANYWAYS... kind of said that too loud, I went to see "Wong Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest" in theatre today. IT was an amazing play that I really want to see again... The only thing is, I have no one to go with, no ride there, and no way to change time so that I wouldn't be about an hour late... heheh. oops.
But, nonetheless, it was am amazing play that I praise a lot. I really wish my friends who were at school or even on the Japanese field trip would've gotten a chance to see it.
But, now, I am really tired. I might just lay back and take a nap, falling asleep to music.
Goodnight, godnight, and see you later. I will post soon.
PS: if you come in to school on Monday and say that you read this blog because of the add on FACEBOOK, I will hand you a little lollipop ;)

New Poem coming up.

Yesh! I finally got it done. I'll be posting it on my POEM WEBSITE... I got to find a new name for that website. anyways my friends, CLICK HERE to reach the website.
Also, I've been looking into the spring garden like I used to do a lot. And, I've already gotten some sprouting radishes and lettuce. The carrots are taking a little longer and the lima beans are doing nothing but getting softer. The corn in not getting anywhere, The grapes and cucumbers are still changeless, and the pumpkin i'm going to give up on anyways. I might just have a healthy salad from this. :P
Well, I gots to go...
BYES MY LOVES... I got to stop saying that, too. (yeah, like I will) ha!

Breakfast is Goood...

Yep, i'm eating a Crepe and some bacon. The thing is, the crepe is more like a chocolate "breakfast Burrito". I'm still fixing it up a bit, so, don't worry. I'll probably add some whip cream as "sour cream", add some hash browns on the side for "spanish rice", and the chocolate chips and bananas inside could be the "beef and beans". :) Plus the outside looks like it has baked on cheese if you leave it cooking on the pan just a touch longer.
So, i'm also eating microwaveable bacon, which is still nummy (even if it's burnt :P). And, I'm waiting to be picked up for SLICE by Rob. but, i decided that since I have a half of an hour that I would type this up.
So, Nashville... it was AMAZING! I went and took a walking tour of the old city. If you do not like country music, DO NOT come here. lol. But, It was pretty cool.
We were at the Grand Ole Opry, and after every two songs, they would have a commercial. every single time it would be about CRACKER BARREL, which is the company that sponsors the Opry. So, now, the inside joke of the whole trip is STILL "CRACKER BARREL!". lol.
But, I have to go now. :( So, i'll see you guys at school.
BYES MY LOVES! (i'm having fun with CAPS today. )

Nashville, babee!!

yes, i'm on the charter bus as I type! I'm trying to hide this laptop as best as I can (with epic fail). But, I can't wait to get checked in and get settled in... and then go swimming in the pool.
And I just got back from Denny's with Ian and Kirsten (awesome people on the trip). I got the Grand slam with Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, and English Muffins.
Also, I've been thinking about this issue in my earlier posts. I've been thinking about the condiments conversation that I had with Rob and Sami... I'm not saying I agree. I say i'm thinking about it. GOT THAT?
So, except for that, I'm totally stoked about the trip! I've got to check some other stuff before my battery dies on me (which I now see is really depressing. Everything else breaks or burns out. Batteries die!). :(
So, i'll see you guys later.

Tired, and fucked beyond recognition...

I'm just so tired right now (i'll get to the other part of the title later... it's a bit longer than this). It's 11:55 pm, I can't sleep, I just got over motherboard crampage in mah tummy, headache, and now this? agh! I just want to fall asleep, wake up, and it will be Monday. I will be ready for the UN conference (where I have to be Japan), I will have completed the first chapter or so in the "Greek Mythology" book that I supposedly have, I will forget about this problem that I somehow got in the middle of between a dear friend of mine and her newly-made Ex, I'll forget that someone now knows a major secret about me, and I will be happy. XP
Now, on to my next topic; being F'd beyond recognition. Well, first off, I haven't gotten my topic or questions for the UN conference that we are holding in Mrs. Briskin's 1st hour Geography class. I have to have it ready for Tuesday BY Monday, and I'm working with a person who I can't get ahold of for the life of me!! AGH! Then, there's English. I don't have the book that we need. I've just been answering them off of what the teacher goes over during class... and Heather's book (thanx a whole bunches =D). But, I'm gettin the book on Monday :) . And, then, there's this break-up that I got in the middle of (I got a phone call last week, and then this morning. It's just confusion, thick-headedness, Stubbornness, Jealousy, Anger, etc!! And it's eating me alive, because I'm worried of completely offending the 1-2nd party (concidering i'm a Neutral; go Switzerland!) but i'm not the only 3rd party. I have a few friends that are kind of taking sides. I don't want to take a side. I just want this resolved! X(
Once it's resolved, then I'll be happy (or when I see Rob, whichever comes first.). I hope it happens soon. He comes home on Sunday night, and I'll for sure see him on Monday. But, right now, I acgtually think i'm tired.
So, i'm going to sleep now. I'll see you all on Monday at school, k loves??
BYE!!! night.

I am so exausted

I don't know what hit me. I just feel so tired. I'm in my "falling onto my bed and instantly falling asleep" kind of moods... with a hot chocolate in mah tummeeee...
And I just wish that I can still feel giddy after I head to dad's to get some stuff I forgot when packing on Wednesday. I forgot so much stuff (and left quite a mess in my room trying to pack up everything for my mother's house.) and I need to make a post, check my facebook, and it's all building up on me... *passes out*
... what, what?
... AGH! I did it again! Man, this is draining my day. So, I'm going to go.
BYE!!!

agh!! go away anxiousness

I don't know why, but I've been feeling anxious. I believe it's due to something that might happen soon... like really soon... like really soon!!! But if it is soon, then I have to prepare for it. XP
This will be fun.
And, besides that, SPRING BREAK! woo!! I can't wait! no school to worry about, a whole week with nothing to do but sleep in (which I myself can't even do), eat, take a nap, and be with my friends... and my Robbie. :)
BTW, it's been 3 months, my longest relationship. I'm happy. :) (see, see? I'm smiling. I HAVE to be happy then...) And, nothing really major has happened in my life recently, either. So, i'm pretty content in those subjects.
I've got to go now, though. Mother is kicking me off of the computer...
BYES!