Feeling Good all the time

Ain't it great... Just to be feeling?

Well, As you can see, I'm in my happy place right now. Haven't really posted something in my happy mood. Well, saying that this is the last of 2008, I might as well just post something, no matter the mood.

I feel so great lately, It's like a new me has popped up. I'm feeling better, I'm looking better, I'm with better people, I'm building stronger relationships with my friends, I'm being built stronger by my friends, I'm living a better life, and I feel great! Being with mature people is good for me. It's better than at Anthony at least.

I remember, about 2 months ago, Bucklin Cat and I went to Anthony to say hi to our favorite teacher, Mr. Haugen. He was there when we had bad days, he gave us time when we were late on a project, he helped us through a lot (and me with the shit that life presented me). So, when we get there, we start talking about our teachers at our school now. He talks about Bucklin's 2 younger brothers that are now in his class (they're twins). And, right when we're talking about this, Mrs. Hanson (principle) comes in the room. She chats for a minute or so, then gives us post it notes to write something good about this school and then give it to her. Well, we were instructed to post it on her door...

So, I'm thinking of what to say, I'm thinking something good like, "The bathrooms are clean, so I had a great year...", maybe "The students here are so inviting and accepting. I had a great year and made many friends." or maybe, "All the teachers were very open and helpful, so I had a good year..."

But, I decided to with something true, but I decided to twist the words so that they wouldn't throw this post it note into the bill shredder (yes, this school has one of those, I've seen it) so I write down, with a smirk, "This school has prepared me for the real world in not just an acedemic sense, but socially, too."
(I could've worded that better, but, hey! like it cares.) So, I'm waiting for Sami to finish hers, and we continue to talk to Mr. Haugen for a while. I tell them about my latest news, Sami tells him about her poems, And we all have a good time.
Then, we leave and I have dinner with dad at Champp's Restaurant by Petco.

This Monday, Me, Savi, Fangs, and Bucklin all hung out at Fang's basement. We all did recordings. And, once we get some video equipment, we're going to put it on youtube. So, get ready for some awesomeness when you see the
"SexyCrackHeads"!
And, no, this isn't some dud Idea. It's well planned, organized, and thought up and on the drawing board. It's a for sure thing, just not into specifics yet. Give us time.

You'll see favorites of ours like, "Break", an RJK production, "News", a JSK production, And "Isaac B-day" an SK production. So, get ready for some mind blowing randomness!

... uh, yeah. I think that's it. Well, happy new year.
And, since I didn't do a Holidays Special, Merry Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, and many more!!!! ... *jazz hands* ... Cricket?
Oh, come on! One Comment? pwease... ?

Hollidazzle Blues

Friday, the Marching Band people were performing in Hollidazzle. we were supposed to be marching yesterday and Today, too. But, Liuzzi cancelled, so, instead, when I get there with Clarinetist Nate, and Trumpeters Maya and Ian, there was no one really there but YellowCoat. So, What I did that night was I hung out with YellowCoat at the Brit's Pub (right outside is the hollidazzle), had dinner, and watched the hollidazzle for the first time. It's pretty cute. There were so many people watching. whenever something passed, we all yelled, "Spin!" and whenever it did, we all cheered. I heard behind me, "We're so easily amused."

Last night I had the coolest dream... It's complicated to explain, though. oh well. I woke up and it was just a huge coinkadink! lol!
Also, I'm over my sudden depression! It's been hard for me. I understand that some people got a little annoyed by me being so down. I thank you for being there, everyone! I guess I was just in denial that it wasn't my fault. I thought this whole thing was my fault, and it wasnt. I was just confused. I thank you all, again, for being there with comforting words, Hugs, and friendships. :*) It makes me feel great to know I have such good friends.
Anyway, still full from the salad last night. X^P somene give me some tums or something.

Depression

dudes, it's evident now, I'm in depression. It's scaring me. and it's all because of school and school related things.

Like, first off, my Best friend's not hanging out at lunch anymore... :*(
Then, second, my ex isn't talking to me anymore. I need to talk to him... It's important as hell, but, he's not talking to me... and I feel it's all my fault. I shouldn't but I do.
Third, I was pulled out of science class to be told to "let out my emotions" in the councelor's office. she was all "you know whatI hate about americans? They have to hold every emotion in, like they can't cry. You can cry, jackie. you can cry if you waant to. Don't hold it in."

creepy.
Fourth, Nick isn't talking to me at ALL! he wasn't there for me, never will, and god just wants me to feel horrible right now and it feels like no one's on my side. Even when someone SHOULD, god damn him, he's not. ... :(

If only he knew. I told him to talk to me... why won't he listen... he doesn't care. ... help. :*(

MY 100TH POST!!!

OMG! it's been such a long time! I can't believe it!
It's been not even a year... but, close, nonetheless, and it's so amazing!
This is actually my 100th post! If you look at my old posts, you'll see a tourmented little 8th grader, who didn;t know where her life started or where the torture ended. Now, I can focus on differnt things... even if it hurts worse than what I would have been going through...
I've been through so much! I can honestly say that. ...
I don't know... I'll think about this.

... The best part of this whole blog would have to be When I went to Louisianna and Highschool. That's what I'm most excited about in my life! That and the fact that Alex and I today afterschool by my house nearly ambushed Ben with snowballs... even when I told alex to stop, he kept going... heheh... lol!
I dunno. I haven't seen Ben T. in a while. like, 7 months or something. all I know is that it's been a long time since I've really hung out with the old people I used to know... like him and Katie and Doylie and everyone!
Then again, it's also been a long time since I've talked to Neeko... he's avoiding me, I SWEAR!
... God, what did I do to make him want to avoid me? It's got to be my fault somehow... I've accepted that as fact. It's the fact that he won;t tell me what it is that bugs me. Maybe he just grew tired of me that's all. I don't know... AND THAT'S WHAT HURTS!
god damnet!
whatever... but, I dunno. :(

anyway, this is an awesome post!
I'm excited. I'm going to be eating now, so, bye!

Reading a book for enjoyment... ??

yeah, some people don't read books for enjoyment... I know, it's kinda wierd...

Oh well, It's not my business. I'm rading a book for enjoyment and fr school, it's called, "Things Fall Apart". It's a goood book, but I can't read it anymore. It somehow reminds me f what I'm going through right now. A good friend of mine isn't talking to me anymore. And Neek is being a Deek right now...

And my friends are going through some hell... rbrb

If I only had brain... what? I went to public school!

God, this room is ... different. It's soundproof, it's full of Macs, and itt's full of highschoolers... it's so cool!!!!

Anyway, comment about the new poem... please!!!!!


It's a good poem... well, I think it is... then again, that's ME...
lol!